Have been asking myself, should I make this blog private?
Well, what the purpose for me to write here if it's private? E-diary that satisfy myself with daily activities recording?
I clicked on the "private" and clicked on the "open" again, and re-clicked "private" but finally last clicked on "open".
A moment ago, I asked myself, shall I stop blogging until I manage to get the whole new me? I'm longing to transmit to a better person, a totally different me but I guess I've long path to go and large space to explore.
I set my goal but sometimes I felt Im lost as if Im wandering in the middle of the large jungle and couldn't make my way out. Im keep turning and turning without notice which direction I actually in and which direction I shall go.
Sometimes,the target is clear with glossy light but sometimes it dimmed til Im not even manage to see them. Thus, I may stop in the half way until I get the guiding light back in front of me.
I have no idea why I tend to lost myself easily. I was asking myself, oh yeah, you're doing these but what's the reason for you to do so? I stucked in mind and ran out of words to give explanation,not even a single word. Perhaps, it's for my own good.
I lost easily but manage to make me back on track easily as well. Just that situation always happen repeatingly without any clue. I may happy at this moment but down in the next minute as if the wavy curve of the roller coaster track. I know, Im moody though. I like to secure my dimmed feeling in the bottom of my heart and keep it silently with me.
Sometimes, I will share but not everytime. I do not wish to affect others although they don't really mind to cheer me up. However, everybody has a small room in one's heart with padlocked and he/she is the only one whom holds the key and will just open it once awhile in a lonely space. Im holding my private invisible key and it belongs to me.
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